


I Almost Do (Run Away With Me, Will You?)

by lostinthesounds



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: (of course he does), Angst, Best Friends to Lovers to Awkward Friends to Lovers, Clarke Was Scared Of Love, Does Bellamy Go After Her?, F/M, Fluff, How Would You Feel If Another Woman Was Marrying Someone You Loved?, Maybe She Still Is, Raven Brings Her Along, She Gets Invited To The Wedding, She Leaves The Ceremony Midway, She wants her friends back together, THE FIRST HALF IS RAVEN’S POV, They Broke Up Three Years Ago, a headache basically, actually i lied, read to find out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-03
Updated: 2019-11-17
Packaged: 2021-01-03 20:07:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21185246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostinthesounds/pseuds/lostinthesounds
Summary: “You know he loves you still.” Raven says in a low voice. Her heart breaks for the way her friend loves a taken man, a man that used to be her’s. “He always will, I think.”Clarke dismisses the comment, “But, he loves hernow. It’s different.” As she adjusts against the pillow, Raven knows there’s so much that needs to be said but it was late at night and definitely not the time. “Do you promise me?”•            •           •Or, a story in which Bellamy is getting married to Echo three years after his breakup with Clarke. Three years ago, she was more insecure about how good she had things in life and broke up with him. Now, she gets taken to his wedding thanks for Raven and they see eachother again. Clarke thinks she’s foolish to let him go, but the realization comes too late.Or so she thinks.





	1. It’s Probably Better Off This Way (For You To Be With Somebody Else)

**Author's Note:**

> This is really so random but I’ve had this idea forever, so please enjoy! chapter two should be up later today, and in a few hours! <3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If anything, the cruel part of her own heart wanted to ask Bellamy why he thought this was a good idea. To get married to Echo. 
> 
> When he should know how much Clarke still loved him, how she made the biggest mistake to let go of him. Any fool with eyes could’ve seen the way he looked at her, like she hung the stars above his head. Would the universe be so unkind to make him forget that fact? Raven didn’t want to think about it.

A notifcation pops up on Raven’s laptop, as she’s scrolling through her YouTube feed_. _

**Echo Smith** _ just sent you a private message, click to _ ** _VIEW_ ** _._

She didn’t think much of it really, she wasn’t focused on anything on her laptop and quite honestly, she was bored. She got the message from her Facebook page, so she opens it after a few seconds. 

Raven glances over the post once, and her eyes bulged in shock. 

(Oh _god_.)

She held her breath. 

Raven re-reads the message at least ten more times, afraid she was reading it wrong:

“_Dear Raven Reyes, you’re invited to the joyous occasion of the marriage between Echo Smith and Bellamy Blake. Reply to this message to RSVP, we hope to see you there!_”

She could tell it was one of those copy and paste invitations, one where Echo wouldn’t even think twice of adding her name. 

Attached was one of the only pictures she recognized of the couple; where Echo had her head resting on his shoulder in the middle of a pumpkin patch. Her smile larger than his, yet both of them seemingly happy. 

Raven did the only thing that made sense since she already viewed the message and Echo _was_ one of her co-workers from her job, and she replied. 

“_Oh wow. Congrats you guys, I’ll see you there. Just send me the details!_” 

She clicked send, and closed her laptop without saying a word. She should be happy right? 

She _should_ be excited. But, she isn’t.

And Raven knows exactly why. A large part of her, knows _who_ she’s worried about and she’s praying that Bellamy loves Echo more than anyone else he’s never been with. Because, she was around when he was dating Clarke in college and they were _perfect_ together. 

How can Echo compare? Maybe it was her fault for moving with Clarke to Polis, when she barely kept in touch with Bellamy anymore, but it felt wrong. 

Raven thinks about it, coming to the realization that she was the woman who hadn’t broken Bellamy’s heart in two. Echo had been the one to mend it, and put it back together, but Raven knows that once her best friend heals...He’ll still love Clarke. That’s what scared her, because as much as she would hate to see a bride left at the alter, she would hate to see Bellamy regret his decision. 

* * *

“He’s getting married?” Clarke manages to whisper, feeling numb all over. Raven was sat across from her in the small dining table of their shared apartment and held her hand in comfort. She tried to let the shock settle, silence taking over them. 

The brunette decided that the best thing to do was tell the truth, to keep no secrets (especially those involving Clarke’s ex that she still loves) from the blonde. It was going to be tough conversation, but it had to be done. Raven wasn’t going to be attending if Clarke didn’t approve, because what good of a friend would she be if she went without Clarke knowing? A _terrible_ one. 

The blonde wipes at her face, under her eyes. Her voice is raspy when she questioned, “He’s happy about it, right?” She paused to clear her throat and Raven frowns. (She hoped that Bellamy was, too.) 

“As far as I know,” Raven says in a gentler tone, trying to make her friend feel better. Now came the hard part, the information she’s been dreading to tell all day.

“I’m invited to the wedding, Clarke—I-I just wanted to tell you.” In the end, she stuttered from nerves. 

“Are you going?” Her head perks up and meets Raven’s gaze. 

Raven wanted to clarify, brown eyes going wide. She wasn’t expecting such a forward answer, “If you don’t want me to go, then absolutely not.” She was serious and truthful, wanting Clarke to have the final word. 

Clarke sniffled, then stands from the wooden chair abruptly and sets her hands flat on the table. She wasn’t focused, didn’t care to listen anymore. 

“You _should_ go.” She says, and shrugs her shoulders. “As long as he’s happy, and you’re off from work—I don’t want you to not go, if you wanna see him. He’s your friend, Raven.” 

Raven has so much she wants to say. 

Clarke was hurting, her fists clenched and eyes averted to avoid looking Raven in the eyes. She hated being vulnerable, the other woman had known that for years. 

She wants to grab the blonde by the shoulders, sit her back down, and make sure she understands what she’s admitting to. Clarke was _willing_ to let her best friend attend her ex’s wedding, just so one of them could be happy. Raven also wants to shake her until she realizes that she still loves Bellamy, and should be telling him how she feels before it’s too late. 

That’s the crucial thing about Clarke. 

She’s so hard-headed, knee deep in sorrow and heartache, that she _already_ thinks it’s too late to get Bellamy back.

But, it truly wasn’t her fault. After she lost her father in a car accident, they were in their final year of college and Clarke was in such a daze of love that she didn’t think the worst could happen. 

She was so in love with Bellamy, that it broke her. 

And if her father could die in an instant, then she could lose Bellamy too. _Just like her dad_. Clarke had never felt a love like Bellamy before, and for the last three years, she’s been trying to deprive herself of the simple pleasure that came with being so utterly in love with someone because she didn’t want to lose them. 

If only someone wouldve told her before in the dimly lit hospital room, her father covered with a white sheet—that she won’t heal with a broken heart—that she can’t fix something that she broke herself. 

(Raven squeezes her eyes shut that night when she hears Clarke’s muffled cries in the room next to her, thin walls leaving nothing to the imagination. Her heart yearned for her friend, knowing that she loves Bellamy so much, and she won’t let herself have him. Although, she knows that Clarke needs this. 

She _needs_ to heal.

Raven has always come up with crazy ideas. This time, she’s afraid that her plan might be the one thing to either break Clarke or giveback what she wants. There was nothing like a little shove in the right direction, and Clarke needs to fight for what she wants. 

The important thing was that she has a plan.) 

* * *

**Bellamy Blake** just posted a message on his page, click to **_VIEW_**. 

Raven glanced at the kitchen to see if Clarke was still occupied, and presses the spam notification. 

“_To those who RSVP’D for my wedding this weekend, invitations should be at your front door soon! A huge thank you to anyone who wants to remember this weekend along with Echo and I. Looking forward to seeing everyone, it’s gonna be a memorable night._

_Email me for any questions about the hotel accommodations, or travel fare.” _

Raven deleted the notification as soon as she saw it, briefly thinking of the invitation that she did indeed get in the mail that morning, and how she stuffed it in her bedside drawer. _He was really doing this_. She shakes her head, putting her phone back into her back pocket and she waits for Clarke to walk back into the living room with a bowl of popcorn. If anything, the cruel part of her own heart wanted to ask Bellamy why he thought this was a good idea. To get married to Echo. 

When he should know how much Clarke still loved him, how she made the biggest mistake to let go of him. Any fool with eyes could’ve seen the way he looked at her, like she hung the stars above his head. Would the universe be so unkind to make him forget that fact? Raven didn’t want to think about it. 

The movie they chose to watch that night was some comedy movie that just got released on Netflix, Raven didn’t bother to check the title if she was honest. She just knew that Clarke needed a distraction and a good laugh, she had been silent for most of the week and she missed having the blonde around. 

Raven knew she would’nt be able to sleep much tonight. 

How would she be able to ask her best friend, the freaking _ex-girlfriend_ of the groom for the wedding she got invited to, to come with her to Arkadia? 

Raven didn’t know what to expect, either getting a slap to the face or more silent treatment until after she comes back from the trip. Although, it would be worth the risk if it would get Clarke to open up and be truthful to her heart. 

She would ask Clarke to attend Bellamy’s wedding with her, and she was absolutely terrified of her reaction. 

Clarke had to face her regret, her pain. 

And if Bellamy doesn’t want her, if both of them are sure that they don’t feel anything for the other, then Clarke could move on with her life. 

(_God_, Raven just knows they belong to eachother. It’s ridiculous.) 

Then, Clarke walks back into the room with a plastic bowl of popcorn that’s drowning in melted butter with a smile that both of them know is forced. She didn’t even have to try and convince Raven. 

* * *

“How can you, _w-why_,” Clarke groaned and shook her head in confusion. There were tears in her eyes, “_Raven_.” 

It was all she could say. Raven had just asked her to come with her to Bellamy’s wedding, the news obviously taking well since Clarke was backing herself out of the kitchen and away from her friend. 

In all honesty, Raven really did believe that Clarke would say yes. If her friend really wanted to move on, she would’ve agreed to the invitation with a second thought. 

That was the problem. Clarke wasn’t ready to move on, she wanted to cling to her memories with Bellamy and pretend like she could have him without trying to get him back. 

When Clarke leaves the room with heavy footsteps, Raven goes after her with the invite clutched in her hand. 

“Clarke, _cmon_.” She tried. Clarke is only a few feet away now, “If you come with me, it’ll be good for you! You can finally move on, and be happy for him.” 

Clarke froze, and Raven could feel her heart beating rapidly in her ears as the silence grew a wall of tension between them. 

Was it the right thing to say?

It was slightly the truth.

Clarke turned her head to the side as she wipes at her face, “It hurts, Raven. If I know that he’s happy, then it makes me feel like I made a mistake at letting him go.”

“I’ll be with you.” Raven argues, trying to heal her friend’s heart would be more difficult than she thought. She swallows thickly, a lump growing that tries to prevent her from speaking further. “If you don’t wanna be there, I’ll take you out and we’ll leave.”

It was a promise to protect her. 

Clarke sighed. “I’ll think about it.”

(It was no secret that neither of them wanted to see Bellamy marry Echo, but as long as they get to see him after a few years, it would be worth it. One last time, for good memories.)

* * *

Raven doesn’t move when her bedroom door creeps open, the dim light from the hallway follows Clarke into the room until she closes the door. In the dark, she could hear the blonde sniffle and walk towards the bed with light steps.

When she doesn’t speak, probably waiting for a notion from Raven to let her know she was awake—that’s when Raven moves her legs, then adjusts the blanket to cover her feet—and Clarke sighs in relief.

Raven has one eye open, when Clarke blindly searches for the blanket to let herself cuddle next to her best friend.

She opens both when Clarke actually finds it, and pulls the comforter back to climb under the sheets.

“Raven,” Clarke began, voice gentle and hoarse. She wraps an arm around Raven’s torso, keeping a distance between them but needing to let something off her chest. A beat passes and she whispered. “I’ll go with you, but only on one condition.”

The brunette hums, sleep making her eyes heavy as she closes them again. She was listening, because at this point, she would do anything to make Clarke comfortable with going with her to the wedding. 

“What’s that?” 

“The second I get uncomfortable, you get me out of there as fast as you can.” 

“I already told you I would.” Raven shuffled closer, eyes wide. “Don’t worry about that, Clarke. I got you.”

Clarke sniffled again, “Here’s the thing about being in love with the groom,” It makes Raven chuckle at the minor attempt at humor, and Clarke huffs in response. Her voice sounds distant, like she hates to even be talking about this with someone. Although, she has be to honest with herself now. “I won’t be able to control myself if I see how he looks at her.” 

“You know he loves you still.” Raven says in a low voice. Her heart breaks for the way her friend loves a taken man, a man that used to be her’s. “He always will, I think.” 

Clarke dismisses the comment, “But, he loves her _now_. It’s different.” As she adjusts against the pillow, Raven knows there’s so much that needs to be said but it was late at night and definitely not the time. “Do you promise me?” 

Raven doesn’t hesitate, so she promises in the dark. “Of course. That’s what best friends do, Clarke.” 

“Goodnight, Raven.” 

“Night.” 

Expectedly, Raven takes a bit longer to fall back asleep that night as her mind stays awake. She didn’t want to feel regret for wanting Clarke to go with her, even if she could call Harper to be her plus one, but it just felt like something she _had_ to do. 

It would help Clarke no matter what. 

Even, if she didn’t get him back. Maybe it was her optimism, but Raven didn’t think it would be hard to get Bellamy and Clarke back together. He just needs to see her in person, and his heart would burst. 

She knows this. 


	2. I Bet Sometimes You Wonder About Me (Oh, I Don't Think I Ever Stopped)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She didn’t notice any anger in his eyes. 
> 
> Clarke would scold herself later for thinking that he was looking at her like how he did when they were together, focusing on her with a gaze of wonder and awe in his eyes. 
> 
> His lips are parted in surprise, neither of them wanting to look at anyone else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe I’m cruel to seperate this fic into yet another chapter, but I thought the contrast of the first chapter being 2k words and the second being 6k (before I separated it) when I still had one more scene to write would be excessive? 
> 
> The good thing is that the final chapter will be coming tonight since it’s only a little bit more to write! Please enjoy <3

Clarke pulled on the hem of her dress, trying to tug it further up her leg so it wouldn't drag on the grass. It had rained the night before, so the ground was mushy and wet where the white carpet wasn't covering. For that, she was thankful. 

She remembered having to run inside the hotel with Raven next to her, both trying to clutch their bags close to their chests to avoid getting their clothes soaked. The reminder makes her want to smile, but as she sat in the midst of a crowd waiting for the ceremony to start, she couldn't even move. Clarke sat frozen in her chair, hand held tightly with Raven's who would squeeze every once in a while to make sure that the blonde was okay. 

She didn't even feel beautiful in her dress. It was something that Harper let her borrow on such short notice, a moonlight colored grey that was tight enough to straighten her posture and hug whatever curves she had. At the waist, the material had flowed to the floor and swayed when she walked because of the occasional pass of wind.

Clarke tried her best to avoid tugging at the hair pins that held her bun in place, but she was getting more nervous by the second to see Bellamy after so long, so she just had to do something. She also wished that the dress didn't have short sleeves, so that the seam wouldn't be cutting into her shoulder if she moved too abruptly, but she was a girl who wished for too many things lately. 

So, she doesn't think about the damn sleeves anymore. Or how she looks. 

Clarke didn't recognize many of the guests in attendance, only sending bright smiles to Monty and Jasper who were old friends from high school that she sees sometimes. She must've been gone for too long to notice anyone that Bellamy knew, but as she listened in on whispered conversations around her, most had come to see the bride.

She shifted uncomfortably, hearing the wooden chair beneath her creak as she thinks of Bellamy being alone. She knew that his relationship with his sister had slowly began to fall apart when he got with Echo, because neither woman was a fan of the other to put it nicely. She doesn't want to think it was her fault, that Bellamy _had_ to fall in love with a woman that his sister hated. When they could've been together, and this moment of time would never happen. 

With a shaky sigh, Clarke finds Raven's gaze and smiles a little. She didn't have to squint when they shared glances, the sun beginning to set from yellow to a mesmerizing orange in the distance. They may be at a beach resort, but the view was a sight to see.

When she looks forward, she pulls her front curl behind her ear that's starting to bother her vision and finds a few minutes of peace to gather herself before the ceremony begins. Clarke would be lying if she didn't admit to counting down the minutes until five o'clock, because every minute was crucial in preparing to see Bellamy again.

Time would pass, and she would look down at her father's watch that was wrapped around her wrist in anticipation. Would he look the same? Would he look into the crowd and smile, feeling like the luckiest man to be marrying the woman of his dreams? Would he care if he looked into her eyes, locking gazes with his ex-girlfriend and feel anger for even seeing her in person after three years? 

Clarke avoided this moment for a reason. For three years, she would run away from the opportunity of seeing Bellamy and Arkadia in all it's former glory and memory, just because she thought she didn't deserve a man as good as him. All because she wouldn't be able to live without him, wouldn't be able to _lose_ the love of her life. Naturally, she let her heart fall into control of her broken conscious that would always tell her that she wasn't good enough for him. That he needed to grow because she could hold him down, before they could commit. 

She's letting him go because she loves him. 

And now she's at his wedding. _She let him go_. 

Quite honestly, with every fiber of her heart, Clarke didn't know what hurt more. The fact that he was getting married to a woman that wasn't her, or the realization that he fell out of love with her because she was the one to push him away. 

Clarke ducked down, her head hung as she blinks back any tears that threaten to fall. Then, that's when she hears the announcement coming from the priest in the front of the decorated alter. She looks up at the noise of the priest tapping the mic to get everyone's attention, and squeezes Raven's hand tightly. 

"The groomsmen will be coming out shortly," He declared. There's shouts of excitement coming from the front of the crowd, where Echo's family are seated but Clarke feels the walls of her heart begin to crumble with the way she loves Bellamy so effortlessly. It was knowing he would be in front of her after so long, that teared down all her insecurities. "Please, refrain to silence once they make their way out here. The bride will walk soon." 

In that moment, Clarke just knew that everyone else was happy about attending this wedding expect her. 

She was the exception. 

* * *

Clarke counts the groomsmen as they walk out in order, muttering their names under her breath.

_John Murphy_. 

_Monty Green_. 

_Jasper Jordan_. 

And Bellamy's best man, _Nathan Miller_. He was smiling, walking with lazy drags of his feet so the groom's entrance would be delayed. His humor didn't get the reaction he was hoping, as two older people in the front row had tried to usher him up the alter before Bellamy was in anybody's view.

The silence of the crowd wasn't good for Clarke, she felt like she couldn't breathe after only waiting a few more seconds to see Bellamy's full head of curls. Her ears were ringing, because nobody around her would utter a word in response to the ceremony starting. She was restless, digging her nails into her palms in hidden fists in front of her and clenching her jaw before she had the chance to let herself shake with nerves. 

Then, the string instruments begin to play a quick tune as the groom adjusts his suit and waits for his cue to walk. There was at least a few hundred yards between them, but as soon as Clarke saw his tanned skin under the afternoon glow around them--she gripped Raven's hand like a vice, and bit her lip hard. Clarke forces herself to look away, to focus on a nearby bush adorned with yellow flowers. 

She doesn't look away until the conversations start, until she hears the buzz of people around her. Everyone sits back down, and Clarke pulls her hand away from Raven's comforting grasp to run her hands up and down her front thighs to try and get rid of the tingling she feels all over. 

Raven leans closer, asking in concern. "Are you okay?" Although her gaze is struck on Bellamy who was yet to scan the crowd in front of him. He was too busy adjusting Miller's tie, and making a joke with Murphy. 

When Raven snaps out of it, Clarke meets her gaze and instantly feels grateful for her friend next to her. She would never survive this if she didn't have Raven, so it's why she answers truthfully and nods slowly. She didn't feel like running away yet, which was good. "Yeah, all good." Her shoulders are tense, so she forces her body to relax into the chair and avoids the wide eyes of the brunette beside her. 

"You just say the word Clarke." Raven assured, before straightening her back to make It seem like everything was normal. "If you can't stand being here, then we leave as soon as we can." 

Clarke took a deep breath, closing her eyes trying not to picture Bellamy in front of her. She would do anything to avoid his gaze for the rest of the night, to disappear in this moment and go back home and forget about this day ever happening. 

(She had a good chance, really. If she didn't open her eyes as slowly as she did, or let her eyes adjust to the sunlight that was beaming right in her face—then she wouldn't of found Bellamy's wide eyes looking at her from across the room. After trying so hard to not spare him a glance, to not _even_ look in his direction, she lost the fight the second she realizes she was looking at him. He was looking straight at her, even stumbling backwards without anybody noticing. But, she did. She would always notice every little thing about him.) 

She didn’t notice any anger in his eyes. 

Clarke would scold herself later for thinking that he was looking at her like how he did when they were together, focusing on her with a gaze of wonder and awe in his eyes. 

His lips are parted in surprise, neither of them wanting to look at anyone else. As a natural instinct, she leans forward in her chair to somehow get closer to him even when she wouldn't dare get more than a few more feet in front of him. She wants to be with him, wants to be beside him in that single minute where he won't look away. Clarke doesn't think of anyone else around her, only focuses on how hard her heart is beating against her chest and how his eyes narrow together when he scans her face from afar. She does the same, being careless in the way she mouths his name with a tilt of her head. She was fighting back tears, so she could see him clearly without losing any of his features. 

She has so many things she wants to say. To explain. 

Clarke isn't sure if he could tell what she was saying, so she breaks herself out of her trance and looks away. She searches for Raven's hand, and interlocks their fingers and squeezes hard to hopefully transfer her pain to somebody that isn't her. She's tired of being hurt, of being reminded that she did this to herself. 

Why did she even come in the first place? 

She can't stop thinking about his brown eyes. She blinks, and she sees him. 

Then, the music starts to pick up again. Everyone stands for a second time, and when Clarke takes notice of the veil surrounding Echo's beaming face as she turns the corner when her arm held in her father's grasp, that's when she starts to panic. 

She doesn't know if she could do this. 

Clarke thought that Raven would be effective in keeping her emotions grounded if they held hands, if she consoled the blonde whenever she felt like tipping over. But, it wasn't working. Not when all she wanted to do was get up out of her chair and object to this wedding. Not when her heart wanted to fly out of her chest and straight into his hands, where it belongs.

Nothing would work after sharing that gaze with him a few minutes ago, all she could think about was how much she loved him. How she would never be able to hold him in her arms again if she let him marry someone else, how sad she would be because she would never love someone as much as Bellamy. 

However, she would rather run out of this place rather than embarrass Echo in front of everyone. 

It wasn't her fault that her fiancé was loved by another woman. 

In the end, as Echo's father revealed his daughter's face under the veil in front of the alter—Clarke felt sick to her stomach, her head pounding with every happy memory she ever had with Bellamy and how foolish she was to let him go—and she finally breaks. She caves into her desperation, and lets go of Raven's hand so fast that it was like she was burned, and apologizes to the two older woman at the end of the aisle as she tries to take large strides to avoid stepping on anyone's shoes.

Clarke could hear Raven whisper yell at her to sit back down, because she was left clueless as to why Clarke would leave without telling her beforehand. Yes, she felt bad for that, but her heart was too heavy with the weight of emotions and regret that she's been trying to keep in the depths of despair for years. She didn't care about anything else, other than getting away from everyone. 

She was numb to sound, as people begin staring at her as if she had a third eye as she walked as quickly and quietly past the last row of seats. She moved past the white carpet that was Echo had just walked on, and tries to find a way out of this place. She takes out her phone from her small purse that she managed to grab from inbetween the seats, and makes sure that it was turned off. 

She wanted no distractions. 

She didnt want to talk to anyone. 

She just wanted to be alone, embracing the sole fact that she might forever be by herself if she doesnt realize her mistakes sooner. Clarke starts panting when she’s short of breath from being so overwhelmed with emotion, and she finally finds a way into the main building away from everything. She’s escaped the wedding ceremony, the crowd of people she barely knows, and a groom who probably didn’t even notice her gone. 

She keeps walking until she doesn’t hear the trees whistling, or the piano play in the background. 

She did this to herself. It could’ve been her up there, with her mother and best friends in the crowd and everyone from Arkadia who grew up with Bellamy and her. _It could’ve been right_. But she had messed things up. She ruined everything by not listening to her heart in the first place. 

“Excuse me, miss?” A voice says from behind her, and Clarke turns so fast that she almost falls because her legs are shaking. It was an employee at the hotel who was concerned, and she sighed. She must’ve walked faster than she anticipated, “Are you alright? Do you need anything.” 

Clarke nodded, wanting to get out of his place as fast as she could. She was sure that Raven would understand why she left, why she had to go back home to Polis where she belonged. She just hated knowing that Bellamy was getting married just a few minutes away from her and she couldn’t do anything about it.

“Can you tell me where the parking lot is? I’m in a hurry.” Clarke asked with urgency, her mind going blank as she doesn’t want to think about Bellamy.

“To your left, just through the front doors.”

“Thank you.” Clarke said, wiping at her face as a single tear falls. At least she’s calmed down enough to talk to someone, or until she’s able to be alone to let it all out. “So much.” 

And with those words, she ducks her head down and speed walks out of the hotel lobby, makes a left when she exists the building and finds her way into the parking lot. When she spots her white Toyota truck (it was the last gift she had gotten from her father, so it was special even if Raven teased her about it being out of style) she doesn’t hold back anymore. 

Clarke runs to her car, as best she can with heels on. When she’s halfway, she decides that she needs to be faster before she has a breakdown in front of a parking lot—she stops for a second, breathing heavy as more tears begin to fall, and she slips off her black pumps and holds them in her hands—and she sprints. 

She collapsed against her driver side door, letting herself sob and let out her sorrow before she even got inside. 

_She feels horrible_. 

Clarke lost the one man she ever felt something _real_ for. She had never even met Echo for more than a few minutes, and she was already the luckiest girl she’d ever seen. She got to keep Bellamy forever, and that was something that should never be taken for granted. He was a great man, so full of love and kindness. 

And he doesn’t belong to her. Not anymore. It’s been over three years since she was allowed to call him _her’s_, and it’s been her biggest regret in life. 

Clarke messily reaches for her keys inside her clutch, presses the button more times than needed to unlock her car and she gets inside and shuts the door with a loud thump. She shouldn’t of never come, she tells herself. 

It was a mistake. 

A memory that would haunt her forever. 

Clarke groaned, letting her head knock against the steering wheel not bothering to care if it hurts or not. She tries to wipe at her face every few seconds, not caring if her makeup was ruined that Raven spent all morning trying to perfect. She didn’t _care_ about that either. All she cared about was seeing Bellamy, getting to tell him how she feels. 

It had only been a minute since she got inside, but she decided that being in the hotel parking lot was still _too_ close to the ceremony. Clarke puts her car in drive and sniffles back her tears, wiping under her eyes and looks down to see thin lines of mascara streaks on her hands from rubbing her skin so much. 

She begins to reverse, and she looks in the rear view mirror and comes to an abrupt stop. 

Then, she starts to cry again. 

She doesn’t even wipe at her cheeks. 

Why? 

Because, the universe must love to play tricks on a broken-hearted girl. Through blurry vision, she sees a man running towards her car. He’s frantic, his black tie hanging loosely around his neck as he struggled to take it off as he ran. His suit jacket was held in one hand, held tightly against his chest but only seconds later, thrown to the ground as Clarke stops the engine. 

_What the hell_. She shakes her head, and puts her car in drive again. The guy was probably a guest from the wedding, trying to get something from his car that he forgot and decided that it wasn’t worth it anymore. He must’ve known the embarrassment of running out of that place too, so Clarke feels a bit sorry for them both. 

She’s able to back up a few inches before the man gets closer and closer, and she’s afraid of hitting him, so she does it slowly so she could let him pass. It wasn’t until the man had began to walk towards her white Toyota, slowing his own pace down as he peeked into her back window. 

Clarke goes still, making sure her head was down to avoid anyone making eye contact with her. The guy must’ve been a creep too, following the runaway guest outside the venue to make her feel worse than she already does. 

After some seconds pass, she looks up into her rear view mirror to find that the man was gone. Clarke wipes her tears away finally, wanting to be able to see clearly if she was going to drive. She left her belongings with Raven, and a part of her wondered why the brunette hadn’t run after her yet. Maybe, she was actually enjoying her friend getting married. 

Then, she hears a knock against her driver’s side window. The sound startled her, making her jump as she pressed the breaks as quickly as possible. She turns her head, only to freeze up instantly. 

“_Clarke_.” He says her name, and she squints her eyes so hard that they burn and doesn’t do anything about it. It had to be a joke, all of this. Bellamy _couldn’t_—he couldn’t be the guy with the messed up tie, or his suit jacket clutched to his chest because he just had to run after her—and when it hits her, that he was exactly that person, she started to tremble. 

She could feel her hands shake, her fingers suddenly cold and numb when she grips onto her seat as a response. 

After embarrassing herself in front of everyone, knowing that she loves someone that doesn’t belong to her anymore, she won’t look at him. She already feels like she’s breaking at her carefully woven seams around her heart, and Bellamy didn’t deserve that. 

She didn’t deserve him. Not anymore. 


	3. And I Just Wanna Tell You It Takes Everything In Me Not To Call You (And I Wish I Could Run To You)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It should've been you up there, next to me." He whispers against her lips, feeling every harsh breath of her lungs against his face. He wouldn't dare pull away and leave more than two inches between them, as they take advantage of their returned happiness of being together. Bellamy pecks her cheek with a feather like kiss, leaning to talk in her ear as if what he said was going to be the secret of a life time. "We should've gotten married today."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is finally done! I hope no one complains about the two dashed lines throughout the chapter, I've noticed that Archive updated a few days ago and I usually write on my phone but it's been acting so wonky and terrible on mobile...and my laptop doesn't make the dashes as nicely as before. 
> 
> A pain, but I made it through to finish this little ficlet! Please enjoy!

"_And I just wanna tell you_  
_It takes everything in me not to call you._  
_And I wish I could run to you._  
_And I hope you know that every time I don't_  
_I almost do,_  
_I almost do._

_I bet you think I either moved on or hate you_  
_'Cause each time you reach out there's no reply._  
_I bet it never ever occurred to you that I can't say "Hello" to you_  
_And risk another goodbye_."

**TAYLOR SWIFT - _ I ALMOST DO_**

* * *

Bellamy leans against her window, his hands pressed against the glass as he searched for her gaze.   
  
  
“Clarke!” He repeats, louder this time. He must think that she doesn't hear him. When in reality, she wants to get as far away from this nightmare as possible.   
  
  
Clarke shakes her head violently, she didn’t want to believe this. If he’s out here, if he’s in the hotel parking lot, then he isn’t getting married to Echo.   
  
  
“Please,” Bellamy pleads. “Look at me, will you? I need to see your face. I need to see _you_, Clarke.” He sounded so desperate, like he was confessing his last wish to her.   
  
  
Clarke carefully takes her hand off the wheel, knuckles aching when she uncurls her hands and sets them in her lap. She didn’t want to rob either of them from seeing each other one last time, as unmarried people. He was doing this for her, to make her less miserable so he could drag her back to his wedding.   
  
  
When they lock eyes, Bellamy bites his lip and Clarke is so entranced by the way he’s changed. He’s got a little stubble growing on his cheeks, a sign that he has a beard most days. His hair is shorter, only a select few curls that fall against his forehead that bounce when he moves. His wild gaze is set directly on her, the way she sniffles back her tears and how her eyes have gotten red from crying over him.   
  
  
“Can we talk?” Bellamy says after some time. Although she wants to, would like nothing more than to talk about everything with him, she shakes her head back and forth.   
  
  
“You came all the way out here with Raven, back to a place you haven’t been in _years_.” Bellamy doesn’t listen to her, trying to get any possible explanation out of the girl who broke his heart. He would be lying if he didn’t know, truthfully, that he wanted her to piece it back together again. He adjusts, leaning closer to the glass as if it would magically disappear and he would be able to touch her. “To watch me get married, Clarke. You’re here at my wedding, and you run away from the ceremony.”   
  
  
It felt like a personal attack, but Clarke didn’t know how to answer. She sat there looking straight ahead, her face flushed red. When he put it that way, it sounded like the worst thing she could ever do to him.   
  
  
“No—_No_.” Clarke exclaimed, hoping her voice was loud enough so she wouldn’t have to repeat it. “You don’t get to make me feel bad, not _when_,” She pauses, not being to continue because she feels like she’ll break down in front of him. He doesn’t deserve to feel guilty about this, not ever.   
  
  
“Not when, _what_.” Bellamy repeats when she gets stuck, frustrated with not being able to grab her and pull her close to look her in the eyes. He doesn’t want any space between them, but he wants answers. She freezes up, and he pleads again. “Please, just open the door. Let me in, Clarke.”   
  
  
She can’t help but think it was a double meaning, that Bellamy was trying to carve himself back into her heart after being pushed away for so long. It scared her, how much she wanted to let him in.   


Inside her heart, and let him inside her car so they could talk. She just didn’t know what to say first, or if she should say anything to make everything better.   


What she does instead, is roll down her window a few inches to talk to him. She feared that if she raised her voice through the glass, he wouldn’t hear what she had to say or she would burst into tears at the thought of having him so close to her.  
  
  
Clarke shakes her head again, curling into herself. “It was a mistake to even come here, Bellamy. I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve to be humiliated like that, this was my fault. My _mistake_.”   


  
Bellamy’s hands now gripped the window sill, his face leaning in closer to her’s and Clarke flinched back to keep a respectful distance. He didn’t belong to her, he was supposed to be with Echo right now in this moment.   
  


“Don’t say that,” Bellamy said, hurt evident in his voice. One of his hands start to fumble with his tie that’s hanging around his neck, until he’s able to take it off and grasp it in his hands. He didn’t even look like a groom anymore, “You came here for a reason, Clarke. And I deserve to know why.”   
  


  
“It’s been three years, Bellamy.” She didnt need to tell him anything, even if she really wanted to. As if time ever made loving him any harder, it only made her long for him more. It wouldn’t be fair to either of them if she confessed her love for him right now, because he still had to explain to a bride why he wasn’t by her side. “Will you just go back inside? You didn’t need to go after me.”   
  


“I can’t go back inside, Clarke.” Bellamy argued, tapping against her window to express his anxiousness. If the glass was rolled down all the way, he would’ve been able to reach out and graze her cheek with his thumb. He would’ve been able to stop her from crying, or running away.   
  
  
“It’s your wedding, Bellamy.”   
  
  
“And I ruined it, because of _you_” He exclaimed, pushing himself off the car and away from the girl in front of him. Why was she so stubborn? Neither of them knew. “I ran down the aisle to get to you, because _you_—Clarke, was the only reason why I’d ever think of making a fool out of myself in front of everyone.”   


  
  
“You aren’t a fool, Bellamy. You could still make things right, because I’m leaving to back to Polis.” When she says that, he turns around and looks at her blankly. He has nothing to say, but Clarke continued without a care in the world if she had to wipe her tears away as she spoke. “In reality, _I_ was the fool for showing up to someone’s wedding when I’m still so in love with you.” She spat in disgust of herself, wanting to forget this place, this feeing of loving so hard, to vanish from her brain.   
  
  
In a split second, she rolls up her window and reversed her car out of the parking lot so fast that she doesn’t even see Bellamy run back inside the hotel.   
  
  
She doesn’t even acknowledge his suit jacket on the concrete.   
  
  
She’s turning the corner when she’s too far away to notice that Bellamy was running back outside with keys in his hands to get Miller’s car because there was no possible way that this conversation would be over on his watch.   


* * *

  
Raven didn’t know what to do.  
  
  
Clarke had just run out, making almost every head turn in her direction instead of looking at the bride at the alter. She might’ve stumbled over a chair, but the brunette couldn’t tell. She was too busy staring at Bellamy, who in a blink of an eye, had noticed a flash of blonde run towards the back of the crowd and eventually out of the venue and he froze.   
  
  
He took Echo’s hands in his, muttered something in her ear and kissed her forehead in an aggressive manner. She was nodding her head, like she understood why he was acting this way.   
  
  
In Raven’s mind, she had no idea what was happening with Bellamy, because once he pulled back from Echo, he had Miller and John Murphy pulling him backwards into a huddle to talk to him. They tried to hide behind Echo, but it was a failed attempt when Bellamy began to strip off his jacket and hold it tightly to his chest as they talked.   


Miller’s eyes go wide at one of Bellamy’s comments, and Murphy stepped back as the surprise sunk in.   
  
  
He was going after her, it clicked for Raven.   
  
  
_He was going after Clarke_.   
  


Raven stood trying to catch the attention of the groom and it wasn’t long to find Bellamy’s gaze and they smiled at eachother. He still loved Clarke, and although everything happened so fast around her, it was the one thing that made her feel like she didn’t need to freak out in worry.   
  
  
As he ran down the aisle, Raven didn’t move. She couldn’t find the strength or courage to go after him, plus, she wasn’t the girl that he wanted to see.   
  
  
She also had something else to worry about.  
  
  
Raven had to deal with a crowd full of confused guests, a sympathetic bride and an angry family of _said_ bride. 

* * *

  


  
  
Clarke didn’t go far. It was impossible to drive at a reasonable pace with having to wipe away tears every few minutes, her bag was thrown to back seat. She even slipped on her heels before one of the previous red lights she passed, not wanting to look like a total mess. She turned the radio down to mute, not wanting to hear anything other than the pounding of her heart against her chest. A heart that solely belonged to the man she left in the middle of a parking lot.   
  
  
She had done this to herself, so why does it hurt so bad? Why did it feel like Bellamy had dug the knife of regret so deep into her body, her soul, that it felt like a part of her now. Because, of course she had a reason to come to this wedding. To _his_ wedding.   
  


Clarke hoped she would be able to move on from feeling this way about him, that maybe Raven could be telling the truth when she told her that seeing Bellamy in person would fix everything. But, she guessed that it wouldn’t work since she never stopped loving him. Seeing him stand at the alter did nothing but make her want him more. 

  
  
The total opposite of what Raven thought would happen.   


  
Clarke drives down an empty street, and comes to a stop at the red light. It was the only good thing about being near a resort, the local streets would be empty because nobody had to drive anywhere if they were staying nearby. Nobody would have to see her cry to herself, or feel like an empty shell of a woman she wants to be.   
  
  
She shouldn’t of never broke up with Bellamy.   
  


He would’ve been able to help her heal after her father’s death, Clarke wouldn’t of felt so alone if she just accepted his company and affection. It wasn’t that she didn’t want him, but she didn’t want to lose him if there was a chance that he could vanish from her life at any given time just like her father.   
  


It wasn’t _rational_ to think like that. If she was so worried about losing her boyfriend, then she should’ve been more worried over losing her own life if things can change so fast in the world. As her father’s absence became more manageable to live with, she had longed for another man she couldn’t have. A lovely man who would’ve done anything to see her smile, to make her laugh through hard times. 

  
  
_Bellamy_. It was always him.   


  
  
Clarke clutched her steering wheel tighter, until her knuckles turned white and all she wanted to do was scream at the top of her lungs for being so stupid.   


When the light turned green, she blinked back tears and tried to figure out which direction she should be going in to find the highway entrance. It wouldn’t of been this hard if she was patient enough to turn on the GPS, but she had been so eager to get out of Arkadia. She still is, do navigation was out of the question for now.   
  
  
Clarke drives slowly, reading the signs as she goes and feeling thankful for only having one car behind her that isn’t rushing for her to drive faster. She frowns when the car aggressively switches to the lane beside her, how rude, and the other driver starts to roll down his window. She tucks some of her blonde curls behind her ear, an attempt at getting a better look at whoever was trying to get her attention. (She hoped the person wouldn’t ask for directions, she had no idea where she was either.)   
  


Clarke was eventually forced to look towards the road to avoid missing the next red light, she hears a voice call out to her in a loud voice, almost like the person was yelling in her direction. The thing about being so close to a popular attraction, was that the streets were closer together and there was more lights to be cautious of.   
  


She rolls down her passenger side window halfway, afraid of the early evening breeze brushing against her exposed skin. Clarke ducked her head forward, finally getting a glance at whoever was calling for her attention.   
  


“Pull over!” The voice says in a deep voice, and Clarke raises her brows because there was no danger near or around her that would make her want to stop driving. She wanted to get home before midnight, and this guy was beginning to push her limit of wanting to interact with him. Then, when the street lamp randomly turns on and shines in the person’s face, Clarke could see who it was.   
  
  
She sighed deeply, her heart breaking into already broken pieces at the sight. Of course, it was _him_. 

  
  
  
“Bellamy, please.” She rolled her window down all the way, then glances towards the red light that still hadn’t turned green. With a sigh, “Go back to the ceremony.”   
  


His cuffs were rolled to his elbows, his curls were messy on top of his head due to running his hands through his hair so much. He looked so good, so _handsome_ on his wedding day, it made Clarke wish she was the bride.   
  
  
He shook his head vigorously, knowing their conversation would be cut short when the light turned. 

  
  
  
“Clarke, look at me.” Bellamy demanded and the fact of knowing she would be speeding off when the light changed, was the only reason why she did. He was speechless for a second, not expecting her to listen. “Why are you doing this to yourself?” He pauses, his voice cracking with emotion when he raises it for the second time. “Why are you doing this to _me_?”   
  
  
“I told you that coming was a mistake.”  
  


Clarke tapped against her wheel, praying the light would just change already. Why was it taking so long? It was almost like the universe wanted to torture her even more.  
  


Bellamy disagreed, raising his voice. “So telling me that you still love me, was that a mistake?”  
  
  
That struck a nerve for Clarke. He should know that she loved him, that she always will, and how she feels would never be a lie. When the light turned from red to green, and neither of them move. She turns to face him again, foot on the gas and heart beating miles a minute, and Clarke knew she couldn’t leave him like this.   
  
  
“I wouldn’t ever lie to you, Bellamy. You know that.” Her voice stern, blue eyes locked on his brown, his gaze gentle. 

  
  
  
He doesn’t say anything else, nodding his head and he rolls up his window without another word. Clarke began to drive, fighting every instinct to stay and talk with him over speeding away and hoping she doesn’t get lost. It was a fight that she quickly lost, realizing what had to be done. She would give herself this last chance to get everything out in the open, to give him her heart unrequited.   
  
  
_She can’t leave_.   
  
  
If Bellamy was giving her the time to explain herself, then he would be saving herself from a lifetime of guilt for ruining his day.   
  


Clarke drives to the next street, and pulls her car over to park against the curb of a forest clearing. She shuts off the engine with shaky fingers, looking in her rear view mirror to catch a glimpse of his headlights shining behind her. She gets out of her car before him, knowing there was no turning back now. 

He strides over to her quickly, determination in his soft eyes when no boundaries are stuck between them. Clarke stands with her arms strictly at her side, ignoring the temptation to engulf herself in his arms and never let go. He was getting closer and closer, coming to a halt when he’s only a few steps away from standing toe to toe with her. 

Clarke takes a deep breath, preparing for a lecture of how Bellamy never wants to see her face again or how he ruined the most important day of his life. She didn’t know what to expect, since he found the matter so crucial to be dealt which only delayed his wedding even further.

“Why’d you come?” Bellamy spoke in a low voice, hands shoved deep into the pockets of his dress pants. He averted her gaze, and Clarke didn’t want to ask him to look at her because it would be selfish. 

She tries to speak, but no words come out at first. 

Clarke doesn’t know what to say to make this all better. To make him leave her for good.

In the heat of the moment, she steps forward and crosses her arms. “I’m sorry for leaving the ceremony—for leaving _you_.” She says it before she has to chance to comprehend why the words come out with no remorse. 

“Apologizing won’t cut this time,” Bellamy still won’t look at her, as he shifts on his heels back and forth. He’s nervous about something, but Clarke didn’t know what was bothering him. “I need more, I need you to explain why you came back.” 

Clarke forced a reply, “You know you gave Raven an extra ticket, right?” Her short finger nails digging into her palm when she clenches her fists. 

Bellamy sighed, running a hand through his curls roughly. He doesn’t know what to do with himself, holding back from what he truly wants to say and ask the woman in front of him. It shouldn’t be this hard to get her to confess, to tell him that she loves him when he’s in front of her. 

“And you came.” He finished. 

Clarke ducked her head, a hundred percent knowing that attending his wedding was a mistake. She never meant to hurt him, not ever in a million years would that be her intention. It was selfish to want to see him again, after what she’s done with him. 

“I never wanted to hurt you, Bellamy.” Clarke stepped back cautiously, taking the hint that the conversation was over when he stays silent to respond and her heart stings. She feels like a young girl again, getting a bandaid ripped off her skin instead of carefully peeling the fabric back because it would hurt less. She thought that ripping the bandaid of telling Bellamy how she felt in the hotel parking lot would fix things, but it only makes her ache. She doesn’t want to feel this way forever, so she creates a distance between them that would be respectful when he—a groom, and she a guest—would walk away. 

It was a shorter conversation that she expected. 

She almost wished he was angry with her. So, she would have a reason to never see him again. Because under the night sky, where his brown eyes are only a shadow of pain and evident confusion, where his stress is shown through wrinkling clothes and messy hair under the street lamps—she’s never wanted to tell him she loved him with every ounce of her body more than she did in this moment—and it makes her _sad_. Sad that she would never hold him again. 

She reaches for the handle of her Toyota truck, right when she gets pulled back from her other hand and into someone’s chest. She doesn’t need to think of who it was, because there was only one other person beside her and his cologne was enough to make her tear up because it’s been the same all these years. 

“Don’t run away, _please_.” Bellamy’s arm slowly wrapped around her waist, keeping her in place as he spoke. Both of them at a loss for words for a second, lost in the feeling of being touched by the other. “There’s more that you aren’t telling me, and if you love me, then you have to tell me.”

"Of course I love you." Clarke blurted out of shock, holding her breath so she won't let herself become engulfed in his scent. A hand clutched onto his elbow, afraid to pull back when she repeated her words. "I never stopped, Bellamy." When his eyes go wide, then narrow on her quivering bottom lip when she lets out a sigh. "You must've known all these years." She says in defeat, letting herself deflate in his arms and he was right there to keep her upright. 

"I knew." Bellamy admits, an arm wrapping around her waist as they look each other in the eyes. Like before, they can't look away as the rest of the world vanished from their surroundings and their respective universes only revolved around the other. "But, you didn't do anything about it. There was no calls, texts, _visits_\--" Bellamy paused, nudging the side of his head against Clarke's forehead when she ducks her head down. Now that he had her in his arms after three years, she would have no reason to run away from him. She would have to be honest and own up to her mistakes, and Bellamy would help her through it all. 

"I never wanted to leave you." Clarke lets herself get backed up against her car door, Bellamy stepping into her open stance and between her legs. "But, I was hurting and losing my dad wasn't easy. It still isn't sometimes," She takes a deep breath, to regain her composure to continue talking of the sore subject. She was never alone when she was with Bellamy, having him now by her side again to wipe away a tear that slipped from her eyes. He cups her face in his hands, fingers caressing the curls that crown her forehead and palms against her cheeks. Clarke finished, "I need you by my side, to help me through living without my dad. To be happy--and you make me so happy." 

Bellamy cracked a smile, pressing his lips on the tip of her nose sweetly. "I was so afraid of losing you forever." 

A beat passes, and Clarke nuzzles her head into the crook of Bellamy's neck and sobs. It was sudden, a burst of emotion from hearing him say those words. Her worst fear had come true in the end, the act of losing Bellamy just like her father. She had caused herself the pain, the heartache because she was scared of losing another piece of her soul. He cradles the back of her neck, rocking them both on his heels to keep her close to him. 

"I did _this_." She hates herself for this, for making him suffer. "I was so afraid of losing you just like my dad, Bellamy. That's why I left, and you never deserved that." Clarke pulls away from him and shakes her head in shock of her own actions. "And I pushed you away, which made me lose you so you can fall in love with somebody else." 

Bellamy would have none of it, feeling the broken pieces of his heart that never were able to heal start to mend back together with her confession. He pulls her arm back, wrapping his arms tightly around her waist so she wouldn't object him and walk away. 

"I was supposed to get married, today." He began, tilting her chin up with his thumb and pointer finger to keep her attention. Clarke's blue eyes were red rimmed, fading streaks of mascara had formed lines above her cheekbone and she even had some on the bridge of her nose. How would he ever get married to someone other than the woman in front of him with a heart of gold, blonde hair that was as bright as the sun, and so much regret for leaving him behind? "And you came to my wedding and the second we made eye contact, I just knew something was wrong, Clarke." 

She bites her lip shyly, "The mistake being that I came to see you on one of the most important days of your life after three years?" 

Bellamy's gaze switches from the sadness in her eyes to her pink lips, and he couldn't hold back anymore. He grabs ahold of her face, hands cupping her cheeks that were damp with drying tears and cheap makeup and he dives in to capture his lips with her's. She gasps in his hold, automatically melting into his arms as she grips onto his wrists to keep herself steady. Their lips glide together with ease, like it had been yesterday since their last kiss shared, and he doesn't hesitate to separate her lips with a swipe of his tongue just to taste her again. Shivers go down Clarke's spine, arching into his chest which gives him the opportunity to shuffle closer and feel her body against his. 

Two pieces of a puzzle finding their place again. 

A few minutes later, Bellamy pulls away from Clarke's strong grip on his shirt collar and lets her leg drop from around his waist when his arm drops to run his finger down her side and up again. 

"It should've been you up there, next to me." He whispers against her lips, feeling every harsh breath of her lungs against his face. He wouldn't dare pull away and leave more than two inches between them, as they take advantage of their returned happiness of being together. Bellamy pecks her cheek with a feather like kiss, leaning to talk in her ear as if what he said was going to be the secret of a life time. "We should've gotten married today." 

Clarke swallows thickly, keeping her emotions at bay when she forces him to look at her. 

She giggles, then sniffled back more tears. "You wanna marry me?" 

"I would do it right now, just drop everything and go away with you." Bellamy chuckled, although it was nothing but the truth. "We don't pack anything, and we drive until we get somewhere we've never been before and explore." The idea of a spontaneous road trip doesn't seem bad at all, as long as he gets to hold Clarke in his arms the entire time. He had to make up for lost time, and make sure that she wouldn't disappear in the middle of the night like a cruel nightmare. "Do you like the sound of a trip right now?" 

Clarke kisses him on the lips again, pulling away with a long sigh. Her dreams were made up of everything Bellamy Blake, wanting nothing more than to run off into the sunset with the man that she almost let slip through her fingers. She would never let him ago again, choosing to not live in fear anymore. 

"I almost do." She teased, poking a finger at his chest. "Not until we figure out which car we're taking." 

Bellamy had never smiled so wide, "I think your backseat is wider than Miller's, and there's no way he'd let me live it down if we-" 

"_Bellamy_!" Clarke exclaimed, a red blush creeping up her neck leaving her warm all over. He laughs against her shoulder, knowing that she missed their old times together too. She would have to make up for the memories she would've had with him during these past three years, and this seemed like a start. 

"Where do you wanna go?" She asks him curiously, pressing her mouth against the curls that sat on top of his head. 

"Anywhere." Bellamy confessed, hand trailing down Clarke's arm to interlock their fingers together and squeeze. "As long as I get to be with you." 


End file.
